Conditions and Rules of a Second Marriage: Step by Step in Light of Shariah and Reality

There is a lot of emotion and argument around a second marriage, but what is needed is to understand the conditions and responsibilities calmly. In this article we will look, in a straightforward structure, at what Shariah wants, what the law wants, and what preparation one should actually make.

First understand: there is permission, but there are also conditions

Marry women of your choice — two, three or four; but if you fear that you will not be just, then one. — (Surah An-Nisa, 4:3)

The first part of the verse is the permission, the second part is the condition. Both must be followed together. For a detailed explanation see Explanation of Surah An-Nisa 4:3.

Condition 1: The ability to uphold justice

Justice means equality in time (the rotation of nights), maintenance, housing and conduct. Equality in the inclination of the heart is beyond human capacity, so it is not required — but there must be no discrimination in outward conduct. For details: Justice between wives.

Condition 2: Financial capacity

For each wife:

• Mahr — fixed and payable (What mahr is and how much it should be)
• Maintenance — food, clothing, medical care
• Housing — safe and separate (where possible a separate room or portion so that privacy is maintained)

Condition 3: Intention and honesty

The purpose of the marriage must be a lawful life partner, children, shelter and mutual compassion. An intention to hurt someone or to take revenge is contrary to the purpose of Shariah. And the new wife must certainly be told the truth about your marital situation.

The first wife's permission: Shariah versus law

• Shariah: According to the majority of jurists, the first wife's permission is not a condition for the second marriage to take place.
• Law (Bangladesh): Under Section 6 of the Muslim Family Laws Ordinance 1961, marrying again without prior written permission carries a penalty.
• Ethics: Respecting the wife, talking to her and ensuring her rights is the teaching of the Sunnah. See also: Is the first wife's permission necessary for a second marriage?

Legal steps (in brief)

In Bangladesh: an application to the Arbitration Council, a statement of the reasons and of the wife's consent, the prescribed fee and the Council's decision — a full discussion of this process is here: The legal process of plural marriage in Bangladesh. After the marriage, be sure to register the Nikahnama.

The second wife's rights and the first wife's rights — both equally important

After the new marriage, neglecting the first wife or giving the new wife too little time — both are injustice. Write down the household plan in advance: which day with whom, what the expense accounts look like, how you will meet the children's needs.

Advice for women

If you receive a proposal to be a second wife, first find out — the man's marital situation, financial capacity, housing arrangements, whether the first wife knows, and whether the legal process is being followed. See: 10 questions for women who want to become a second wife.

A self-assessment questionnaire for men

Before deciding, look for honest answers to yourself:

1. Am I going down this path out of real need, not out of anger or rivalry?
2. Do I have the income to run another household while maintaining the current standard of living of my first wife and children?
3. Have I written down how I will divide my time across the week and the month?
4. If hard times come (illness, losing my job), will I be able to handle two households?
5. Have I honestly told the new wife all the information?
6. Am I confident that family members (parents, brothers and sisters) will maintain respect for both wives?

Waiting until the questions you hesitate over are resolved is consistent with the Qur'anic instruction itself.

Maintenance and housing: how much is "enough"?

Shariah has no fixed amount of money; "enough" means fair maintenance according to the wife's social standing and the husband's means. In practice a husband should fix a separate monthly allocation for each household and also keep an emergency fund (budget method).

How to tell the first wife

• Speak in a calm setting, without hurry, in private.
• Make the reasons and the plan clear; assure her of her rights and security.
• Give time for an emotional reaction; take the help of a trusted elder if necessary.
• Honestly follow the way the wife's opinion is involved in the legal process (legal process).

Which mistakes happen most often

• Making promises before the marriage but later neglecting housing and expenses.
• Criticising the first wife to the new wife (and the reverse).
• Avoiding the Nikahnama or registration (registration).
• Unjust differences between the children (raising children).

Final consideration

If these preparations cannot be completed, waiting, making du'a and seeking further advice is the wise course. Shariah asks you for responsibility, not haste.

For advice or help, contact us.