Dowry and the Bride-Price Custom: Haram in Islam and the Law of Bangladesh

Dowry is a very old and harmful disease of our society. In marriage discussions the question "how much will they give" indebts many families, makes girls' lives uncertain and sometimes becomes a cause of abuse or separation. Islam's guidance is clear — in marriage the financial responsibility is the groom's, not the bride's.

Whose financial responsibility is marriage in Islam?

And give women their mahr willingly. — (Surah An-Nisa, 4:4)

In marriage it is the man who gives the wife the mahr (What mahr is and how much) and takes on the responsibility of maintenance. There is no Shariah basis for placing any financial demand or "condition" on the bride's family.

Others' property is not lawful without consent

It is not lawful (to take) the property of any person without his willing heart. — (Musnad Ahmad)

In the case of dowry, money given under social pressure, embarrassment, fear or the worry that "the marriage will fall through" is not real consent. So it falls under wrongfully consuming wealth:

And do not consume one another's wealth unjustly. — (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:188)

Gift versus dowry

Matter	A voluntary gift	Dowry
Intention	Love and help	Demand, greed or custom
Pressure	None	Present (open / implicit)
Conditions	None	A condition of marriage or the basis of later demands
Publicity	Better kept private	Display / lists / accounts

If the girl's parents give a small gift of love and there is no demand, it is not dowry. But under pressure such as "everyone gives", "giving is a matter of honour", and dealings by list, it amounts to dowry.

The example of Fatimah's (may Allah be pleased with her) marriage

In the narrations of the seerah and hadith it is mentioned that, at Fatimah's (may Allah be pleased with her) marriage, Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) had his armour for the mahr, and from its value the ordinary needs of the household were gathered. This makes clear that the start of the mahr and household needs came from the man's means, not by placing a burden on the bride's family. (The detailed account of this event varies in the grade of its chains in different books; the main lesson is mentioned here.)

The law of Bangladesh

Under the Dowry Prohibition Act, 2018, demanding, giving or taking dowry at or after marriage is a punishable offence, with provisions for imprisonment and a fine. (For the specific penalties and process, speak to a lawyer.) Alongside the law, the real change must come in mindset.

What families should do

• The groom's side: make no demands; if a demand comes, step back from the marriage (The yardstick for choosing a groom).
• The bride's side: it is safest not to marry into a family that asks for dowry; do not take on debt beyond your means.
• Society: present examples of dowry-free marriages; do not praise dowry at invitations or gatherings.
• The mosque committee: brief counselling before marriage and encouragement of simple marriage.

The psychology of dowry — why it survives

Several social causes work behind the survival of dowry: the mindset of seeing a daughter as a "burden", ignorance about women's right to property, social competition and the fear that "she won't get married". Islam has called raising daughters a deed of special reward (Raising children) and has secured a woman's financial standing through inheritance and mahr. So there is no religious argument for dowry.

If dowry is asked for or has to be given — what to do

• Refuse with humility: state clearly that you will not give or take dowry.
• Arbitration / help of elders: if the demand continues, take the mediation of a trusted elder or scholar.
• Legal help: under the Dowry Prohibition Act 2018 there is a path of remedy; take a lawyer's advice.
• The courage to call off the marriage: marrying into a dowry-greedy family increases the risk of further abuse in the household, so stepping back if needed is a wise act.

Abuse for dowry after marriage

If there is abuse after marriage to extract dowry, contact the 999 or 109 helpline and turn to the family court and legal aid (The wife's remedies). In Shariah, this kind of oppression is a grave offence.

How to secure a daughter's future instead of dowry

• Invest in the girl's education and skills.
• A fair mahr and a clear Nikahnama.
• Explaining the girl's Shariah share in inheritance and not having her give up the claim.
• Continuing contact with and support for the daughter after marriage.

Caution for the groom's side

Discussing give-and-take, giving a list in the name of a "voluntary gift" or creating indirect pressure after the marriage — all are forms of dowry. Let the mark of a religious family be simple marriage and a dowry-free household (Simple marriage).

If a girl's marriage is held up for lack of money

If a suitable girl's marriage is held up for lack of dowry, look for a religious groom who does not want dowry. If needed, we can help — contact us. More advice on simple marriage: Walimah and simple marriage.