What Can a Wife Do If the Husband Is Not Just? Shariah and Legal Remedies

It is one of the hardest situations for a woman — the husband neglects maintenance, is not keeping justice among several wives or is showing disrespect and abuse. Here the steps to take are given briefly.

Urgent: If you or your child are physically unsafe, contact 999 or the women and children violence prevention helpline 109 immediately.

1. Document the situation

• When, what is happening, how much expenditure has stopped — a short written account.
• Keep messages, bank transactions, medical papers, witnesses' names.

2. Discussion and reconciliation

And reconciliation is best. — (Surah An-Nisa, 4:128)

In a calm setting state specific demands — such as time division, the amount of expenses, housing. Instead of complaints, make your needs clear.

3. Arbitration

Then send an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family. — (Surah An-Nisa, 4:35 — in part)

Take the mediation of a trusted elder or scholar (Marital disputes and arbitration).

4. Reminding the husband of his Shariah duties

Sunan Abi Dawud 2133; Jami' at-Tirmidhi 1141

The husband can be humbly reminded of the Shariah importance of justice and maintenance (Justice, Maintenance and housing).

5. Legal remedies

• Recovering maintenance and mahr: a case in the family court.
• Dissolution of marriage: an application in court on the grounds set out in the Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act 1939 (failure to maintain, cruelty, not keeping equality among several wives according to the Qur'an's instruction, etc.).
• Violence: a protection order under the Domestic Violence (Prevention and Protection) Act 2010.
• Conditions of the Nikahnama: if the Kabinnama delegates the power of divorce, take a lawyer's advice on using it (Nikahnama).

6. Khula or talaq

If all efforts at compromise fail, there is a way of separating honourably (Talaq and khula); but asking for divorce without reason is condemned in the hadith (Sunan Abi Dawud 2226), so the real reason and advice are important.

7. The child's safety and emotional wellbeing

Reduce intense conflict in front of the child. Know the rights about custody (hidanah), maintenance and education of the child. Take a counsellor's help in times of stress.

You are not alone

What kinds of conduct are "a breach of justice"

• Not fixing the wives' turns or repeatedly breaking them.
• Reducing one wife's maintenance when giving to another.
• Refusing to provide separate safe housing.
• Insult, abuse or physical blows.
• Unjust differences between the children.
• Hanging her by cutting off phone or contact.

A sample structure of a step-by-step letter or message

In some cases it is hard to talk directly. You can send a short, polite and specific message: the event, the impact, the expectation and a time limit. For example — "In the last three months you did not come according to the fixed turn and I also did not receive the expenses regularly. Because of this I and the child are in hardship. I hope we can sit down for discussion within next week." Keep a copy of the message.

What to take to the lawyer and scholar

• The Kabinnama and the mahr papers.
• The dates and proof of maintenance being stopped.
• The names of witnesses.
• Medical papers (in case of injury).
• Screenshots of messages.

Emotional wellbeing and support

Long neglect or abuse increases mental stress. Talk to a trusted friend, a family member or a counsellor. Do not blame yourself; asking for your rights is not wrong. Worship and du'a will keep you emotionally strong.

A word for the husband

If you realise from reading this that there are faults in your conduct, correct them without delay, ask forgiveness and restore the rights. The warning of the state of "leaning to one side" on the Day of Resurrection is grave (Justice).

For help to reach an honourable and safe solution for you, contact us. Read also: The first wife's permission, How to keep a good relationship with the first wife.