Is it necessary to see a dream in istikhara?

No. A dream may come or may not. According to scholars, it is enough to observe the inclination of the heart and the favourability or unfavourability of circumstances after istikhara.

How many times can istikhara be prayed?

It can be prayed more than once if needed. Rather than keeping it hanging again and again until a decision is taken, it is better to reach a decision through consultation and practical consideration.

The Istikhara Prayer and Du'a: What to Do in a Marriage Decision

Marriage is one of the biggest decisions in life. When a proposal comes, the question arises in the mind — will this decision be good for me? At such a time the Messenger of Allah ﷺ taught us istikhara, that is, asking Allah for what is good.

The method of istikhara

Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ used to teach us istikhara in all matters, just as he taught us a surah of the Qur'an. He would say: when any of you intends to do something, let him pray two rak'ahs of voluntary prayer apart from the obligatory prayer and then recite this du'a: (Sahih al-Bukhari 1162)

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ، وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلَا أَقْدِرُ، وَتَعْلَمُ وَلَا أَعْلَمُ، وَأَنْتَ عَلَّامُ الْغُيُوبِ، اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي وَيَسِّرْهُ لِي ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِيهِ، وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ، وَاقْدُرْ لِيَ الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي بِهِ

O Allah! I seek Your guidance by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. For You have power and I have none; You know and I do not; and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this matter is good for me in my religion, my livelihood and the outcome of my affairs, then decree it for me, make it easy for me, and then bless me in it. And if You know that this matter is bad for me in my religion, my livelihood and the outcome of my affairs, then turn it away from me and turn me away from it, and decree for me the good wherever it may be, and then make me content with it.

(When saying "هَذَا الْأَمْرَ" in the du'a, bring the specific matter to mind — for example, marriage to such-and-such person.)

Step by step

Complete the verification and consultation (Choosing a groom, Choosing a bride).
Make wudu and pray two rak'ahs of voluntary prayer, outside the disliked times.
After the salam, recite the du'a, understanding the English meaning if needed.
Observe for a few days, and talk with experienced people.
On the path where you find steadiness of heart and ease, move forward trusting in Allah.

Istikhara and istishara (consultation) together

Allah the Exalted has commanded:

وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْرِ

And consult them in the matter. — (Surah Al Imran, 3:159)

So istikhara is the practice of feeling, and istishara is the addition of reason and experience. Together the two build the right decision.

Common misconceptions

"Seeing green or white in a dream is good, black is bad" — there is no such specific interpretation in the hadith.
"It has to be done for seven days" — there is no specific number in the authentic hadith; doing it once is enough, and it can be done more than once if needed.
"I have prayed istikhara, now there is no need to verify" — wrong. Verification and consultation are necessary.
"Whoever my heart wants is the sign" — desire and Allah's guidance are not the same; one must be careful, keeping what is good in front.

Do not delay the decision after istikhara

Delay in a proposal is painful for both sides. Let your answer be known as quickly as possible (Marriage proposals and meeting). Then, if you say alhamdulillah and move forward, blessing will come, insha'Allah.

Istikhara and indecision — the balance

Many people wait indefinitely, thinking "if I don't get a sign, I cannot decide". This is wrong. Istikhara is asking Allah for what is good and then taking a reasonable step. After verification, consultation and istikhara, if you have moved the proposal forward and the path is easy and the heart steady, go ahead trusting in Allah. If the path keeps closing, that too can be a hint.

Istikhara for both groom and bride

The one who makes the proposal, the one to whom it is made and the guardian — all three can pray istikhara separately. If there is a difference over the decision, take the mediation of an experienced scholar. Even if not everyone in the family agrees, the comfort and consent of the principal person is essential (Marriage against a girl's will).

When not to pray istikhara

The question of istikhara does not arise about what is haram, obligatory or clearly wajib. For example, whether to marry a second time without legal permission — here, before istikhara, it is essential to understand the legal and Shariah steps (legal process). Istikhara is an aid to deciding, not an excuse to avoid responsibility.

The state of mind after istikhara

If the heart is at peace and the path is easy, there is probably good — still, trust in Allah.
If there is fear, restlessness and unreasonable hesitation in the heart, pray istikhara again and consult.
Do not rely blindly on anyone's words or dream interpretation; proof, verification and reason are also important.

Preparing for the du'a

To recite the istikhara du'a with understanding, first read the English meaning once. Attention and sincerity are the main thing here.

See the full list of marriage preparation here. For help, contact us.

The Istikhara Prayer and the Decision to Marry: Method, Du'a and Misconceptions