Can a Girl Be Married Against Her Will? Islam's Guidance and Remedies

In some families a girl is still married off against her will "to save honour" or "to save wealth". Shariah is very clear on this: a woman's consent in marriage is essential.

A widow or previously married woman may not be married off without taking her opinion, and a virgin may not be married off without taking her permission. — (Sahih al-Bukhari 5136; Sahih Muslim 1419)

The Companions asked, how is the virgin's permission (given)? He said, her silence (is consent). — That is, the silence of a shy virgin is taken as a sign of consent; but if she expresses clear disapproval, she cannot be married off.

The incident of Khansa bint Khidham (may Allah be pleased with her)

Khansa (may Allah be pleased with her) narrates that her father married her to someone she disliked. When she complained to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, the Prophet ﷺ gave her the right to reject the marriage. (Sahih al-Bukhari 5138)

It is also narrated from Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) that a virgin came to the Prophet ﷺ and said her father had married her to a groom she disliked; the Prophet ﷺ gave her the choice (the opportunity to decide). (Sunan Abi Dawud 2096; Sunan Ibn Majah 1875)

The principle of Hanafi fiqh

According to the Hanafi jurists, a guardian cannot use force for the marriage of an adult, sound-minded woman; without her consent the marriage does not take effect, or depends on her approval. Although in the case of a minor there is a different discussion in fiqh, child marriage is prohibited by Bangladeshi law (The Nikahnama and the legal age).

The guardian's responsibility

Do not prevent the suitable groom from marrying them, if they agree with one another in a fair manner. — (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:232)

A guardian's work is protection and advice: verifying a good groom, listening to the girl's opinion, and, if there is disagreement, the mediation of a scholar or elder. Force or threats are wrong (The role of the wali (guardian)).

What you can do as a girl

1. State your disapproval in calm language and explain the reason.
2. Take the help of a trusted elder or scholar — a mother, aunt, uncle, imam.
3. If there is an alternative religious proposal, bring it before the family (Choosing a groom).
4. Pray istikhara (Istikhara).
5. If the marriage has already taken place, take a fatwa from a qualified mufti and, if needed, take advice through the court about the validity of the marriage / separation (Talaq and khula).
6. If there is a safety risk, contact 999 or the women and children violence prevention helpline 109.

The last word for guardians

Each of you is a shepherd and each of you will be asked about those under his care. — (Sahih al-Bukhari 893; Sahih Muslim 1829)

The harmful consequences of forced marriage

• Emotional trauma and loss of trust for the woman.
• Conflict, neglect and discontent in the household.
• A negative effect on the children.
• Permanent distance from the family.
• Shariah and legal complications — questions about the validity of the marriage.

Marriage is not for saving "honour" or "wealth"; it is a bond of peace and responsibility between two people.

"Silence is consent" — the right understanding

The silence of a shy virgin is taken as a sign of consent — this is to give room for her shyness. But crying, protest or clear disapproval is not silence. For guardians to make this hadith an excuse and force by saying "the girl did not say anything" is contrary to Shariah and conscience. The better course is to talk with the girl privately and kindly and learn her real feelings.

Caution about the marriage of minors

In Bangladeshi law the minimum age of marriage is 18 for women and 21 for men. Although there is discussion in fiqh of the marriage of minors, in the modern context it is harmful to health, education and rights; considering the legal and protective side, avoiding it is a duty (The Nikahnama and the legal age).

How to learn the girl's opinion

1. Talk in private, in a safe setting (in the presence of her mother or aunt).
2. Openly share all the information about the proposal.
3. Give time without haste.
4. If she says no, listen to the reason and respect it.
5. If there is hesitation, istikhara and the advice of elders (Istikhara).

Emotional preparation for women

If you come under pressure, be aware of your safety and rights; contact a trusted relative, a scholar or legal aid. Islam recognises your right to say "no".

A daughter's happy future comes through respecting her consent and choice. If you want help, contact us.