Which rights of the wife are obligatory on the husband?

Mahr, maintenance (food, clothing, medical care), safe housing, good treatment and, if there are several wives, justice.

Is it obligatory for the wife to do all the housework?

In fiqh there are discussions and differences among scholars on this; but according to the Sunnah and social custom, mutual cooperation is better, and the Messenger of Allah ﷺ also used to help with household work.

The Mutual Rights of Husband and Wife: Islamic Guidance

The foundation of a happy married life stands on two things: love and the recognition of mutual rights and duties. The Qur'an and Sunnah teach both together.

The fundamental basis of the marital relationship

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you love and mercy. — (Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21)

هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ

They are a garment for you and you are a garment for them. — (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:187)

The metaphor of a "garment" means covering, protection, beauty and closeness — all four.

The principle of rights

وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ

And women have rights similar to those upon them, in a fair manner. And men have a degree over them. — (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:228)

In the khutbah of the Farewell Hajj the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: your wives' right over you is their food and clothing in kindness; and your right over them is that they not allow into your bed anyone you dislike. (Sahih Muslim 1218)

The wife's rights (the husband's duties)

Mahr (What mahr is and how much).
Maintenance: food, clothing, medical care — honourably according to means (Surah At-Talaq 65:7).
Housing: safe and with privacy.
Good treatment:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا

Live with them in kindness. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good. — (Surah An-Nisa, 4:19)

لَا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً، إِنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَرَ

A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one trait in her, he will be pleased with another. — (Sahih Muslim 1469)

Respect and privacy: not publicising the wife's faults, refraining from hitting or insulting.
Justice if there are several wives (Details of justice).

The husband's rights (the wife's duties)

Cooperation and consultation in lawful and fair matters.
Protecting the husband's property and honour.
Responsibility and trustworthiness towards the marital relationship.
Not letting into the house, without permission, anyone the husband dislikes.

The Qur'an says:

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ

Men are caretakers and responsible for women, because Allah has given some of them an advantage over others and because they spend from their wealth. — (Surah An-Nisa, 4:34 — in part)

"Qawwam" means responsibility and protection, not a right to oppress.

Cooperating with each other

Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was asked, what did the Messenger of Allah ﷺ do at home? She said, he used to help with the family's work, and when the time of prayer came, he would go out for prayer. (Sahih al-Bukhari 676) A household is an institution of mutual cooperation.

خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي

Jami' at-Tirmidhi 3895; Sunan Ibn Majah 1977

When marital quarrels occur

Quarrels are natural, but not insults and violations of rights. On the steps of resolution and arbitration see Marital disputes and arbitration.

Transparency in finances and joint decisions

A major cause of marital conflict is money. Maintenance is obligatory on the husband, and the wife has full ownership of her own wealth — she has the right to spend it as she wishes, and the husband cannot take it by force. It is a beautiful rule to take big household decisions (housing, children's education, investment) by joint discussion. Keeping a rough account of household income and expenditure transparent to both reduces suspicion and complaints.

Relations with in-laws and boundaries

A wife serving her husband's parents is a courtesy in accordance with the Sunnah, but from the viewpoint of fiqh it is not an obligatory duty on the wife; the husband should not place an excessive burden on his wife. On the other hand the wife too should maintain respect for her in-laws. The husband's task is to keep a balance between the two sides — giving the parents their due and protecting the wife's privacy. Separate housing, if needed, is the wife's fair claim (Maintenance and housing).

Subtle aspects of marital harmony

Conversation: some meaningful talk every day, not only about responsibilities.
Gratitude: thanks for small acts.
Humour and expressing love: authentic narrations say the Messenger of Allah ﷺ joked and played with his wives.
Privacy: revealing the intimate matters of husband and wife to others is forbidden.
Worship together: prayer in congregation, Qur'an recitation or du'a.

Division of work and mutual respect in the household

Times have changed — many wives also earn. In such a case, sharing housework and child-rearing as a joint responsibility is consistent with the spirit of the Sunnah. A wife's income is her own property; if she contributes to the household, it is her kindness (ihsan), not an obligation — and the husband should be grateful for it.

Three things to remember during conflict

Do not decide in a moment of anger.
Not insult and hurt, but solution-oriented discussion.
In a big conflict, seek arbitration (Marital disputes and arbitration).

When each knows the other's rights, disputes decrease. Read also: Before marriage: a checklist and What a wife can do if the husband is not just. If you want advice on married life, contact us.

The Mutual Rights of Husband and Wife: The Foundation of a Happy Marriage in Light of the Qur'an and Sunnah