Widow Marriage: Islam's Guidance, the Iddah and Society's Misconceptions

After the death of her husband, a woman's life changes suddenly — loneliness, financial uncertainty, responsibility for the children. In many societies a woman in this situation is discouraged from marrying again, yet Islam sees it as a path of dignity and benefit.

The Qur'an's instruction: arrange the marriage of widows

Marry off those among you who are unmarried (men and women), and the righteous among your male and female slaves. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty; Allah is Ample-Giving, All-Knowing. — (Surah An-Nur, 24:32)

The word "ayama" includes widows and divorced unmarried women as well. That is, arranging the marriage of a widow is a social responsibility.

The iddah: four months and ten days

Those among you who die and leave wives behind — the wives shall wait by themselves (from marrying) for four months and ten days. — (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:234)

If she is pregnant, the iddah lasts until the birth of the child (Surah At-Talaq 65:4). During the iddah, staying at home, avoiding adornment without need and not making a marriage contract with anyone are part of the rules. In urgent need (medical treatment, a crisis of livelihood) there is room to go out on a scholar's advice.

Hinting at interest during the iddah

And there is no blame upon you for what you hint of a proposal to women (during the iddah). — (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:235)

That is, during the iddah no direct proposal, but a hint of the kind "I am thinking of a good person like you" is permitted.

No marriage without the widow's consent

A widow / divorced woman may not be married off without taking her clear opinion (consultation), and a virgin may not be married off without taking her permission. — (Sahih al-Bukhari 5136; Sahih Muslim 1419)

Just as it is wrong to pressure a widow into marriage, it is equally wrong to forcibly prevent her from marrying.

The merit of taking responsibility for a widow

The one who strives (with spending / care) for the widow and the poor person is like one who fights in the path of Allah. — (Sahih al-Bukhari 5353; Sahih Muslim 2982)

Regarding the care of orphans, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ also said that he and the guardian of an orphan will be this close in Paradise — showing his index and middle fingers (Sahih al-Bukhari 5304). Many widows live with orphaned children; so at the time of their remarriage, arrangements for the children's protection and upbringing also need to be discussed.

Some misconceptions in society

• "A widow is ill-omened" — such a superstition has no Shariah basis; the Messenger of Allah ﷺ himself married several widows (The marriages of the Prophet ﷺ).
• "A woman with children cannot marry again" — marriage is permitted even with children; but the children's security should be kept in view.
• "The share of property will decrease" — keeping a widow back out of greed for wealth is oppression. A wife has a fixed share in her husband's property (one-eighth if there are children, one-quarter if not — Surah An-Nisa 4:12).

What society and family should do

1. After the iddah, find out the widow's wishes and look for an honourable groom.
2. Check the groom's religiosity and character (The yardstick for choosing a groom).
3. A clear arrangement for mahr and maintenance.
4. Ensure the children's emotional preparation and security.
5. Where necessary, in the case of a proposal as a second or third wife, follow justice and the legal process (10 questions if you want to become a second wife).

Rulings during a widow's iddah: practical Q&A

Can she go out during the iddah? In urgent need (medical care, a pressing need to earn, safety) there is room according to the scholars' opinion; but needless going about and adornment are avoided. Discuss specific situations with a mufti.

Talking by phone or online during the iddah? Necessary and modest communication is permitted; no marriage contract or direct proposal.

Must she marry immediately once the iddah ends? No, there is no need to hurry. Decide taking into account emotional readiness and the condition of the children and family.

Grief and remarriage — emotional preparation

The grief of a woman who has lost her husband is natural; remarriage does not mean forgetting the first husband. Family and society must be sympathetic about this. A widow who does not wish to remarry must also be respected — the decision is hers.

Remarriage of a widow with children

• Emotional preparation of the children — introduction to the new partner step by step.
• Protecting the property rights of the fatherless children; strict caution about the property of an orphan (Surah An-Nisa 4:2, 4:10).
• A pledge of good treatment of the children from the new husband.
• Where necessary, clear conditions about the children in the Nikahnama (Nikahnama).

A widow's wealth and financial security

A wife has a fixed share in her husband's property. Be aware of taking this share and not giving it up under pressure from relatives. In the distribution of inheritance, it is safe to take advice from a local scholar and legal advice.

If a proposal comes as a second wife

Many widows receive proposals as a second or third wife. This can be an honourable path if justice, the legal process and financial security are assured. Before deciding, see 10 questions if you want to become a second wife.

Looking for an honourable and Shariah-compliant path to widow marriage? Contact us.