Ihya Ulum ad-Din: Summary and Lessons of 'Kitab Adab an-Nikah'

One of the most influential books in Islamic history is Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali's (may Allah have mercy on him) Ihya Ulum ad-Din. In the book's second quarter (Rub' al-'Adat) there is the chapter on marriage: Kitab Adab an-Nikah.

Ihya Ulum ad-Din — the chapter on the etiquette of marriage

Note: This summary is written in our own words and is not a substitute for the original book. For details and verification of chains, see the original book and its takhrij.

The structure of the chapter

Imam al-Ghazali (may Allah have mercy on him) arranged the chapter in several parts:

1. Encouragement towards marriage and its merit — the importance of marriage in light of the Sunnah.
2. The benefits and harms of marriage — for the individual and society.
3. The conditions of the contract and the qualities of the wife — the wali, consent, witnesses, mahr and the yardstick for choosing a wife.
4. The code of conduct in married life — what the husband should do, what the wife should do.
5. Justice and household management — equality if there are several wives, maintenance, resolving quarrels.

The five benefits of marriage

Imam al-Ghazali (may Allah have mercy on him) briefly divided the benefits of marriage into these five aspects:

• Having children: preserving the lineage and hope for righteous offspring.
• Controlling desire: protection from falling into the haram.
• Managing the household: household work and help, so that one can focus on worship and the pursuit of knowledge.
• Kinship and the growth of the community: the extension of new relationships.
• The discipline of self-restraint: bearing the rights and responsibilities of the family is a great exercise in self-purification.

This outlook shows that marriage is not only a need but also a path of worship. See also: The pre-marriage checklist.

The qualities in choosing a wife

Al-Ghazali (may Allah have mercy on him) mentions eight qualities of a wife: religiosity, good character, beauty, a low mahr, the ability to bear children, being a virgin, a good lineage and not being a very close relative. These are his observations and advice; not Shariah conditions. Compare with the hadith's main yardstick: What to look for in choosing a bride.

The code of conduct in married life

In this part of the book Imam al-Ghazali (may Allah have mercy on him) discusses in detail:

• Tolerance and humour towards the wife's inappropriate conduct.
• Caution about excessive jealousy and baseless suspicion.
• Thrift in household spending and a balance with comfort.
• Teaching the wife the necessary knowledge of religion.
• If there are several wives, justice in turns, maintenance and conduct — Details of justice.
• The wife's responsibility, too, to protect the husband's honour, privacy and property.

A caution for the reader

The Ihya is a huge book; there are discussions among hadith scholars about the chains of some of its narrations. Hafiz al-Iraqi (may Allah have mercy on him) did its takhrij. So before quoting a hadith, it is better to check it against the authentic books and the takhrij. For fiqh rulings, go to reliable books of fiqh or a mufti (Al-Hidaya and Radd al-Muhtar).

Lessons for households today

• Think of marriage as a means of worship and self-purification.
• Alongside the faults of the wife / husband, see the good sides (Sahih Muslim 1469 — Rights of husband and wife).
• A thrifty and simple life (Simple marriage).

About the author

Imam Abu Hamid Muhammad al-Ghazali (may Allah have mercy on him) (approximately 450–505 AH) was born in the Tus region of Khurasan. He gained scholarship in fiqh, kalam and philosophy and taught at the Nizamiyyah madrasa in Baghdad. Later he devoted time to self-purification and Sufism and wrote Ihya Ulum ad-Din. The book is divided into four parts: acts of worship, customs and conduct, the diseases of the heart and the paths to salvation.

Why the marriage chapter is in the "conduct" section

In the second part of the Ihya the matters of social life appear — eating habits, marriage, earning, friendship and so on. Here the Imam did not see marriage merely as a legal contract; he presented it as part of self-building and social responsibility. This reflects his outlook of "fiqh and ethics together".

Relevance for the reader today

• A balance of expectations: see marriage realistically — both joy and responsibility.
• Self-restraint: the practice of bearing others' faults and correcting one's own.
• Household management: a balance between income and expenses, relationships and worship.

Three questions for discussion (for the family or couple)

1. What are we doing to make our marriage a means of worship and self-building?
2. How do we handle each other's faults as husband and wife?
3. Do we have habits of thrift and gratitude in our household?

How to begin reading the original book

First look at the table of contents of the marriage chapter in a Bengali or Arabic edition, then read the part you need. While reading each hadith, check it against the authentic books and for fiqh decisions consult madhhab-based books (Kitab an-Nikah of Sahih al-Bukhari).

Summaries of more books of this kind: Fiqh as-Sunnah, Zad al-Ma'ad. For help with marriage preparation, contact us.