What Happens When Mahr Is Waived or Got Waived? The Wife's Rights and the Husband's Caution

Short answer: A wife can waive the mahr willingly and with a contented heart. But getting it waived through embarrassment, pressure or fear is not acceptable in Shariah.

Then if they give up some part of it (the mahr) to you with a pleased heart, enjoy it freely. — (Surah An-Nisa, 4:4)

The phrase "with a pleased heart" in the verse is the key condition.

Why a waiver on the wedding night is problematic

Saying "waive the mahr" on the wedding night or in front of relatives often happens in an atmosphere of social embarrassment and pressure. The new bride is inexperienced, the family is present, and it is hard to say "no". In such a situation the waiver cannot be taken as willing. Many muftis advise that the custom of getting the mahr waived on the wedding day should be avoided.

Conditions of a valid waiver

1. The wife is an adult and of sound mind.
2. The wife has full knowledge of the amount of the mahr and her right to it.
3. A waiver without any pressure, fear, deception or social obligation.
4. A willing decision at a proper time (such as after the marriage in a calm setting).
5. A wali or anyone else cannot waive the mahr on the wife's behalf.

The safest method

• Pay as much of the mahr in cash as possible at the time of marriage (Mahr).
• Fix the remainder in writing and with a time (Nikahnama).
• If she wishes, the wife may later give a gift to the husband.

What else makes a waiver void?

• If the wife did not know or was under a misconception, the waiver will not be effective.
• If the husband, without paying the mahr, merely extracts a declaration of "waiver", that too can amount to unlawful pressure.

After divorce and death

If the mahr is not paid it remains as a debt owed to the wife. After divorce, half or full mahr depends on consummation / valid seclusion (Mahr). In Bangladesh, if a man marries a second time without permission, the existing wife's full mahr is payable immediately (legal process).

A warning

The Qur'an is very strict about mahr: taking it back without reason is forbidden (Surah An-Nisa 4:20–21).

And they (the wives) have taken from you a firm covenant. — (Surah An-Nisa, 4:21)

Waiver and hibah — the difference

In fiqh two forms of giving up mahr are discussed: "ibra'" (release from debt / waiver) and "hibah" (a gift). If the wife gives it up without having received the money, it is a waiver; if she returns it to the husband after receiving it, it is a gift. In both cases willingness is essential. A written acknowledgement with witnesses helps avoid future disputes.

What is forbidden in extracting a waiver

• Forcing her on the wedding night with the pressure of embarrassment or saying "it won't look good if you don't".
• Promising something else and later not keeping it.
• Exploiting the wife's ignorance or confusion.
• Applying pressure through the wali or relatives.

Caution for the husband

Thinking "I will get it waived" while writing an excessively large amount with the aim of evading the mahr is a grave wrong. It destroys the wife's right and one will have to answer in the Hereafter. So fixing an amount within means and payable is right (Mahr).

Mahr and divorce / khula

In khula a discussion of returning or giving up the mahr generally comes up; but if the husband oppresses and imposes khula, that is wrong (Talaq and khula). In divorce the outstanding mahr remains payable; if not willingly waived, the wife can claim it.

Recovering the mahr in court

A case for recovering outstanding mahr can be filed in the family court. For this a copy of the Kabinnama, witnesses and proof of transactions are useful (Nikahnama).

To decide in a specific situation, contact us.