Maxay aad uga fiirsato Doorashada Gabdho: Qurux, Diin, Tabi' iyo Isfaham

Mid ka mid ah aasaasaha nolol guud oo farxad leh waa doortida saaxiibta saxda. Bulshada waxaa badan loo yaqaan midabka arooska, dhererka, lacagta ama sharafka qoyska. Islaamka ma diido kaboosi ah waxyaalahaas, laakiin waxuu bartaa tartiibka awaamiirka.

Hadithka muhiimka ah

Marwo waxaa loo guursadaa afar sababo — lacagtiisa, asalkiisa, quruxdiisa iyo diintiisa. Sidaas daraaddeed dooro marweed diin-dheeraad ah, waad guuleysaneysaa. — (Sahih al-Bukhari 5090; Sahih Muslim 1466)

Hadithkan waxaa uu faahfaahinayaa waaqiciga iyo muujinayaa jidka faa'iido: diinta uu noqoto awaamiirka ugu horreeya.

Marwo salih: asayga ugu wanaagsan ee dunida

Dunida waa hayn, asayga ugu wanaagsan ee dunida waa marweed salih ah. — (Sahih Muslim 1467)

Liiska Imaam al-Ghazaali (Allah yarhamhu)

Fasalka guurka ee Ihya Ulum ad-Din, Imaam al-Ghazaali (Allah yarhamhu) waxaa uu sheegay toddobaad sifo ee marweed (khuulaso):

1. Diin-dheeraad
2. Khuluq wanaagsan
3. Wajigii farxad leh / qurux jirka ah
4. Mahr yar (guur fudud)
5. Awoodda dhalaanka carruur
6. Aan la guurin (bakaar) — haddii ay tahay doon, ma aha shuruud
7. Asal sharaf leh
8. Aan aheyn qaraabo dhow aad u ah

Waxyaalahaas ma ahaa shuruud Sharciga ah, balse muujiyaal iyo talooyin ka yimid Imaamka. Faahfaahin: Khuulasada fasalka guurka ee Ihya Ulum ad-Din.

Waxyaabaha la fiiriyo oo falanqaynta ah

• Diin-dheeraad: salaadda, xiriirka Qur'aanka, amaanta, xiiseynta hayaa.
• Tabi'adda: gussa iyo dulqaad, hadal, dhaqan qoyska uga dhaxeeya.
• Waxbarasho iyo kufu: kufinta dheeraadaha iyo aqoonta waxay siinaysaa xasilloonida guriga.
• Caafimaad: caddeynta arrimaha caafimaadka ee culus.
• Qoyska: xiriirkiisa hooyadii iyo aabihii iyo qaraabadiisa.
• Ra'yigiisa: ogolaanshaha arooska waa waajib; waxay noqon kartaa in ay isku raacdo (Guur aan laga doonayn irada gabdha).

Dumaal, naagaha la talaaqay iyo naagaha hore loo guuray

Badankii xaaskiinta Rasuulullah ﷺ waxaa ay hore u guurtay. Sidaas daraaddeed fikirka "haddii aanay aheyn bakaar ma leh khayr" ma aha baridda Sharciga. Eeg Guurka dumaalka iyo Dib u guurka naagta la talaaqay.

Waxyaabaha la ka fogeeyo

• Qaybsoonlyn qaadista quruxda ama lacagta.
• Cabsi qabiil ama hadallo haasaweynayo arooska.
• Shuruud aan sax aheyn — joutuk, hababka ballaaran (Joutuk iyo caadada qiimaha arooska).
• Sawiro / macluumaad khaybsoonaan.

Arkista quruxda oo meel wanaagsan

Qurux waa qayb halal oo raaxo leh — arkista hore guurka waa muwaafaq Sunnahda. Laakiin qurux waa gaajo; khuluq iyo diin waa jooga. Gurigii u billowday oo kaliya quruxda jirka waxaa laga yaabo inuu waqtiga daraadeed ka dhibto. Sidaas daraaddeed quruxda iyo dhererka la geeyey, muhiim u noqo tabi'adda, hadalka, hay'adda sharafka ee qoyska iyo xiiseynta diinta.

Baabbo' kufinta tabi'adda

• Baro wakiillada sida ay ula dhaqamayod qaraabada weynaha ee qoyska.
• Wada hadal gaaban, eeg aqoonta fikirkiisa, dulqaadiisa iyo u dhaqanka.
• Sida ay u jawaabto khilaaf yar — nabadda miyaa, ama culus?
• Qaado waqti iyo qaado ra'yiyo ka yimaada qaybo kala duwan (hooyo, eedo, deriska).

Dhaqan qoyska iyo qiimaha

Guur ma ahaa midba xiriir labo qof ah, balse xiriir labo qoys oo isku xiran. Sidaas daraaddeed kufun dhaqameed oo saldhig ah oo labada qoys (deegaan diini ah, adkeysiga haweenka, taageerida isboorti / muuqaal) waa muhiim (Kufu).

Waxyaabaha aan la arkin (laakiin bulshadu fiirtaa)

• Midab, dherer, wajigii model ah — waxay ma ahaan miisaano Sharciga ah.
• Sharaf bulsho ama doonka qaraabada — ma aha saldhigaga doorashadaaga runta ah.
• Fikirka "bakaar kaliya" (Guurka naagta la talaaqay / dumaalka).

Adkeysiga dumaalka iyo naagaha la talaaqay

A previous marriage does not mean unsuitability. Many women are able to manage a household with full patience, experience and maturity. The example of the life of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ supports this attitude (The marriages of the Prophet ﷺ).

Advice for women themselves

As a bride, you too should make your values and expectations clear. Not only "what the family wants", your consent and comfort are also to be considered (Marriage against a girl's will).

What the process should be like

First an introduction through the guardians, verification, then meeting in the Shariah way (Marriage proposals and meeting), istikhara (Istikhara), then the decision. For preparation and help, contact us.